So what exactly is trust?  Let’s start by thinking of 3 people whom you would trust with your life.  In other words identify some person or entity (think organization, agency, company) that you would trust to make life-altering or even life-ending decisions for you.  Have you thought of three?

My bet, based on having asked this question before, is that most of you have chosen a spouse, child, parent, sibling or other close relatives and possibly a spiritual advisor (minister, rabbi, imam etc.)   Very rarely has anyone selected their boss, a co-worker, subordinate or anyone from their workplace.  Why is that?  Do we not trust the people with and for whom we work?

Let’s ask the corollary question.  Think of three entities (people, organizations, agencies) you do not trust.  Got your three?   Again, based on having asked this question, I find people usually cite government entities (the IRS being a frequent answer), politicians, used car salesmen, sales people of all sorts and a sprinkling of people with whom or for whom they have worked.  At some point they have come to the conclusion that they cannot expect information from these people or entities to be the truth or the promises they make to be kept.

Does there seem to be a pattern here?  People want to work for someone they trust.  And yet there is not a great deal of trust in the workplace.  But to be a good leader you must have trust.  You must somehow gain credibility with your followers.  Having position and power over people is not enough.  Coercion is not a good leadership technique.  And certainly “above and beyond” efforts have to be given, not demanded or forced from a subordinate or team member.

So we are back at “how do I gain trust with someone?”   You gain trust not through speeches or written reports, not through being brilliant in meetings or presentations.  You gain trust through your behavior and the consistency of your actions.  You have to do what you say you will do, every time.  You have to tell the truth, even if it’s not what people want to hear.  You have to explain your goals, why you set your goals and how you plan to reach them.  You have to share a vision of what does not yet exist and how you plan to get there and ask, sincerely, that people trust you and come with you to the destination.  And all of this takes time.  But the good news is that you take trustworthiness with you.  When you start a new job or move to a new department, your reputation comes with you.  All that you have said and done before either reinforces that you are “trust worthy” or tells people that you say one thing and do another.

So what is your reputation? Are you trust-worthy?  If not, it may take you a very long time to correct a history of not doing what you say you will.   But now is always an excellent time to start.

When I am hired to do Change Management for an IT Project, clients ask me to create a Communications Plan.  That plan includes key stakeholders and the message or key points we want to communicate to each person or group.

What both of these scenarios show is that we are seeking to “talk” to “transmit” a message, but not to receive.  Where is the listening?

When I teach communications, whether asked to or not, I use a Listening Styles instrument and focus on teaching IT staff to listen.  As a rule of thumb we are supposed to listen twice as much as we speak.  I know of no one (including myself) who reaches this goal on a regular basis.

And in Change Management listening to stakeholders’ concerns, requirements and fears is equally as important as telling them what is coming.

Although listening is a “soft skill,” it can at least be measured, i.e.  you can test someone to see if they heard key information, if they noticed the mood the speaker was in (calm, agitated), if they saw a message in the speaker’s body language (nervous, worried, confident.)  The information they retain and the non-verbal messages they pick up tell you how well they were listening.

But in addition to listening, IT executives need to develop their ability to empathize.  And when I say empathize, I mean the ability to put one’s self in someone else’s place and relate to the way he or she feels.  For example, when IT is bringing massive change to an organization by implementing an ERP, how do the people whose work processes and daily life this will change feel about it?  Put yourself in their place and you may be asking – Will I be able to do my job?  Can I learn the new software?  Will I be able to compete with younger workers?  Will my business skills become obsolete?

Unfortunately, there is no way that I know of to measure empathy.  Either you are empathetic, or you are not.

But why does a discussion of “soft skills” like listening and empathy belong in a Career blog?  Aren’t these entries supposed to be focused on helping you find your next job?  Or at least focused on building your professional credentials?  What do listening and empathy have to do with this?

Actually, they may have a great deal to do with both finding your next job and building your credentials.  In a job interview most candidates are focused on talking about themselves and impressing the potential employer with their knowledge and experience.  Maybe instead you should focus on listening.  What is the employer really looking for?  If you listen, instead of talking, they will usually tell you exactly what they want and need from you.  And if you go one step further and empathize – what is this poor, bedeviled person interviewing you  feeling?  How is he/she coping without a <fill in the open job title.>  Whether the open position is a CIO or a Director of Application Development, they are probably feeling pain because this position is open.  There is work and leadership that are not happening because they are without a key person.

The truly excellent job candidate hears what the potential employer needs and empathizes with what they feel.   The exemplary CIO listens to his staff, to his stakeholders and to his service providers and uses his understanding of what each is looking for to run a better IT organization.

So focus, at least a little bit, on your listening skills and your ability and willingness to empathize.  You may find it makes you not only a better IT executive and job candidate, but a better person.

I went back to school for a Masters in Organizational Psychology once I figured out that I knew a lot about computers, but practically nothing about people – and that people-skills and human behavior figured prominently in the success of my IT projects.

But why blog about LinkedIn?  Because in 2009 I suddenly started getting requests for advice and training on LinkedIn.  Collaborative work supported by technology has been my primary interest for 20 years – starting with Groupware in the 80’s and culminating in today’s Social Media.  As a result I have run classes for IT professionals “In-Transition” (the current euphemism for suddenly unemployed) and have sat next to clients, friends and family members to help them understand and leverage LinkedIn.  I want to share with you some of the same things I have been sharing with my other friends and colleagues.

I have been promoting LinkedIn for 5 years – asking my clients, “Are you on LinkedIn?  If you are, connect to me.  If you’re not, you should be.”  I usually get one of two answers:

• Yeah, I have a profile there, but I haven’t visited LinkedIn in a
  couple of years.
• No, I don’t need to be on LinkedIn; I’m not looking for a job.

So let me explain what is wrong with both of these answers.  For the “I have a profile there” guy or gal, the problem is one of two things.  Either they have what I call a “place holder” LinkedIn profile (you know it, the one with no picture, only their current job listed and maybe where they went to school) or they have a decent profile, but they don’t actively participate in Groups, answer questions, update their status or interact with other people on LinkedIn.

What I want to know is whether anyone would hand out a resume that had only  their name, current position and where they went to school.  Because that is exactly what you are doing with a “place holder” LinkedIn profile.  People who are recruiting, people who might want to join your organization and vendors or clients  who might want to do business with you will judge you based on what they see on your LinkedIn profile, just as they would if they were reading your resume.  Treat your LinkedIn profile with the same respect you give your resume – and include the same kinds of information about your previous jobs, accomplishments and affiliations.

I have heard some people fret that they don’t want to put a picture on their profile because they don’t want anyone to “know how old” they are.  However, without a picture it’s difficult for people to remember if you are the Bob Jones they met at a conference or not.  The other implications of no picture are that you:

1. are not technical enough to upload a picture (a very bad thing for an IT exec)
2. are 90 years old (I’m not talking about 60 – remember 60 is the new 40!)
3. have something to hide – such as matching a Most Wanted poster

So find a recent, flattering business-appropriate picture and put it out there.

As for the folks who think they don’t need to be on LinkedIn until they are job-hunting, guess what?  The best time to “network” is when you are NOT looking for a job.  That allows you to participate in discussions (which lets you demonstrate how knowledgeable you are.) It allows you to be generous with your time and attention, to mentor others, to point them to jobs you know about – basically it lets you build your “LinkedIn karma” (metaphorically) so when you need it, a broad, geographically-distributed network of people who want to help you are ready and waiting.  The two to three years PRIOR to looking for your next position is when you need to be actively participating on LinkedIn.

Of course LinkedIn is only beneficial if you actually participate in the online community.  That means join Groups – not just your college and previous workplace alum groups, but groups centered around topics that interest you – whether that means specific technologies (e.g., Oracle apps) or leadership skills (CIO Forum) or hiking, you will find people in these groups who, one way or another, can help you find whatever information, advice or position you are seeking.

Of course I am not the only, or even the best, source of advice on using LinkedIn.  A friend of mine, Laurel Bailey, took a buy-out package from her VP job to “retire” and start a consulting firm.  Her blog, http://habaconsulting.blogspot.com/, has at least three entries from 2009 that are very relevant to this discussion:  June 8 “LinkedIn: A Networking Must,” June 15 “10 Ways to Screw-Up Your LinkedIn Presence” and July 20 “Weak Ties – Strong Benefits.”  The first two are self-explanatory.  The July 20^th entry follows an interesting thought that came out of a social networking study in the 70’s (yes, there were social networks before there was technology to support them; remember, people wrote letters even before there were typewriters, computers and email.)  The theory is that the connections on the “edge” of your network – those people who are friends of friends – are the ones most likely to produce results if you are looking for information, a job etc.  The reason is that you and your immediate friends (at work, in your neighborhood) have all the same information and connections.  The people at the “edge” of your network have a very different view and can help you more than those in your immediate circle.

What actions should you take after reading this?  Spruce up (or create) your LinkedIn profile.  Join a few groups. You can join up to 50, so err on the side of over-joining; you can always drop out later if the group is not interesting or helpful.  Answer some questions.  Look up people in your city who have similar backgrounds (using the People Search box at the top right of the Home screen) and either connect with them or join the same groups they are in.   Go look for companies in your area (using the Companies menu item under “More..” at the far right of the Home menu bar) that are either potential clients, potential vendors or possibly future employers for you. LinkedIn conveniently tells you where people worked before joining, and after leaving, a company so you can see where your colleagues go when they leave your company.

Besides why wouldn’t we, as technology professionals, be the best at online networking?   Go conquer LinkedIn.  You will be glad that you did.

And most IT people will say, “So?  What we are supposed to do is technical stuff, relationships shouldn’t matter.”

Maybe relationships shouldn’t matter, but they do.  Unfortunately, I have seen superb technical organizations which are perceived by their internal customers as incompetent.  They are doing all of the right “technical stuff” — they have 99.99% system availability, clean databases, virus-free LANs, capable help-desks and a responsive network — but they are still perceived as incompetent because they have failed to build and maintain good relationships.

Some IT execs have also noticed this and as a result there is a great deal of IT executive coaching focused on improving relationship skills.  Many executive search consultants and their clients have also started evaluating an IT exec’s “soft skills” and fit with the corporate culture during the selection process.

But having a relationship-savvy exec heading IT is not enough to change the perception of IT as an un-caring bunch of propeller-heads.  To change the entire IT organization requires three things:

1. One person in the organization accountable for IT’s relationships, both internal and external, reporting directly to the CIO
2. Measurement and reward focused on relationship building and maintenance
3. Training, coaching and mentoring focused on building “soft skills” across the entire IT organization so that every IT person is doing “relationship management” as part of his/her job

Being an IT leader has become more complex.  Not only do you need to know technology and stay on top of trends and advances, you also need to know the industry your IT organization is part of and how you can best align IT with  business needs.  Now some consultant is telling you that you also need to have relationship building and management skills.  And not only do you need to have these skills, but everyone in your organization needs them and you need a direct report to manage all of your organization’s relationships.

It would be human nature to shrug this off.  It is just too much to cope with and you need to stay focused on technology and business.  But the truth is if you want to take your organization to that next level of achievement, if you want them to be viewed as intelligent, capable, business-savvy and focused on customer-service, then relationships have to matter. You and your entire organization have to build and maintain good relationships with your counterparts in the business and contacts at the vendors.  All great IT organizations have figured this out.  It is what distinguishes them from the merely good IT organizations.

Yes, I understand, relationships shouldn’t matter, but they do.