This post was submitted by Jill Herrin.

Charles presented “Chopin in London” at Winston Wolfe’s home, Loxley Hall, in Memphis, with the lovely Rose Cholmondeley, a Steinway Artist and Chopin recital extraordinaire.  Rose played music from Chopin’s last public concert at the Guildhall.

It was a beautiful evening and they performed brilliantly, telling Chopin’s story through his letters, newspaper articles and music, which portrayed the social scene in London in 1848.

Loxley Hall was just the perfect setting for this soiree – a true English mansion with a medieval flare, open ceilings, magnificent stairwells and gorgeous tapestries.  We sat in the Great Hall, which was inspired by ancient cathedrals.  It has an elaborate, hand-carved beam system and a staircase that Charles and Rose descended from to perform the program.

Winston is an entrepreneur and an internationally recognized inventor and business innovator; he was most gracious to open up his home to the some fellow Brits and The English Speaking Union.

So yet again, I find British Fun and Culture in Memphis!

So what exactly is trust?  Let’s start by thinking of 3 people whom you would trust with your life.  In other words identify some person or entity (think organization, agency, company) that you would trust to make life-altering or even life-ending decisions for you.  Have you thought of three?

My bet, based on having asked this question before, is that most of you have chosen a spouse, child, parent, sibling or other close relatives and possibly a spiritual advisor (minister, rabbi, imam etc.)   Very rarely has anyone selected their boss, a co-worker, subordinate or anyone from their workplace.  Why is that?  Do we not trust the people with and for whom we work?

Let’s ask the corollary question.  Think of three entities (people, organizations, agencies) you do not trust.  Got your three?   Again, based on having asked this question, I find people usually cite government entities (the IRS being a frequent answer), politicians, used car salesmen, sales people of all sorts and a sprinkling of people with whom or for whom they have worked.  At some point they have come to the conclusion that they cannot expect information from these people or entities to be the truth or the promises they make to be kept.

Does there seem to be a pattern here?  People want to work for someone they trust.  And yet there is not a great deal of trust in the workplace.  But to be a good leader you must have trust.  You must somehow gain credibility with your followers.  Having position and power over people is not enough.  Coercion is not a good leadership technique.  And certainly “above and beyond” efforts have to be given, not demanded or forced from a subordinate or team member.

So we are back at “how do I gain trust with someone?”   You gain trust not through speeches or written reports, not through being brilliant in meetings or presentations.  You gain trust through your behavior and the consistency of your actions.  You have to do what you say you will do, every time.  You have to tell the truth, even if it’s not what people want to hear.  You have to explain your goals, why you set your goals and how you plan to reach them.  You have to share a vision of what does not yet exist and how you plan to get there and ask, sincerely, that people trust you and come with you to the destination.  And all of this takes time.  But the good news is that you take trustworthiness with you.  When you start a new job or move to a new department, your reputation comes with you.  All that you have said and done before either reinforces that you are “trust worthy” or tells people that you say one thing and do another.

So what is your reputation? Are you trust-worthy?  If not, it may take you a very long time to correct a history of not doing what you say you will.   But now is always an excellent time to start.

We started out with lunch at Crumpets.  We had a very English fare – Cornish pasties, strawberry tarts and Earl Grey Tea!  We ate properly and slowly with our knife and fork and took our time to savor the atmosphere.

Next we went to Carrier Hall, a 17th-century English Tudor-style manor home in Central Gardens, with original historic character, plus some 21st century upgrades.  The home was built in 1923, which was 2 years after my Dad was born.  My parents were guests in the home twice before at English Speaking Union gatherings, when it was owned William Eubanks.  It was really great for them to see the place again and decorated for sale!  We roamed all over the home, looking at the hand-carved mantels on huge fireplaces, antique landscape paintings, old portraits and the 18th-century antique tapestry.  The grand ballroom is fabulous and we thoroughly enjoyed the outdoor gardens, fountain, gazebo house and modern full-size apartment above the garage.

From there, we went to see some English roses on show at the Dixon Gallery Cutting Gardens, which displays annuals, perennials, biennials and David Austin English roses in formal beds repeated around a central pool and rose garden.  We also thoroughly enjoyed the 10,000 Tulips Exhibition and felt totally relaxed by all of nature’s beauty on display right here in Memphis.

In the evening, we went to an English-Speaking Union meeting.  Founded in 1918, 3 years before Dad was born, the ESU works to promote “international understanding and friendship through the use of the English language.”  During our visit, the speaker was Oliver Everett, CVO and former Royal Librarian to the Sovereign of the United Kingdom, Queen Elizabeth II.  He was responsible for the care and maintenance of the royal collection of books and manuscripts owned by the Queen.  Oliver was also a previous Private Secretary to the Prince of Wales.  He had some fascinating tales to reveal and was gracious enough to spend time personally speaking with my Dad; they chatted about the East end of London, educational differences between the US and UK and of course, about cricket!

So, if you want to spend an “English Day” in Memphis, it can be done!

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The Dalai Lama smiled mischievously and said, “I call myself a feminist. Isn’t that what you call someone who fights for women’s rights?” The comment was made during his International Freedom Award acceptance speech, which was presented to him by the National Civil Rights Museum. The Dalai Lama went on to add with his infamous sense of humor that “some feminists have too much emotion that I don’t like.” Again, there are some feminist groups that would certainly agree with him on that point as well.

Many see the Dalai Lama as youngsters may see the Wizard of Oz before lifting the curtain – a fact the Dalai Lama himself addressed.  He said some people come to hear him speak out of curiosity, some think he has some kind of miracle power or ability to heal the sick, some think he will bestow a wise and important message. “I have nothing to say that is that special,” he said with a laugh.  As far as healing power, he said, it’s “nonsense.” In fact he had complicated surgery last year to remove his gallbladder, which he proclaimed, “Is proof I have no healing power!”

The Dalai Lama’s powerful message is common sense. He does not preach religion. “Whether you believe this religion or that religion, we are all the same human beings.” He preaches self-awareness and compassion. In broken English he said, “We need to work together. We need to protect the planet. With fear, harmony is impossible. We need trust. Trust is the basis of compassion. Distrust brings fear. Fear brings violence. Fear brings loneliness and depression. We all come from the same place. We are all brothers and sisters.”

This year marks the 50th anniversary since the Dalai Lama was forced to flee Tibet under China’s takeover and form a government in exile in India. When asked if China and the exiled Tibetan government will ever reach a peaceful understanding, the Dalai Lama became quiet for a moment. “The Chinese and the Tibetans, we are the same human beings…our faith in the Chinese people was never shaken…We need more patience, determination. The Tibetan spirit (in Tibet) among the young is strong. The problem is (Chinese) government censorship and misinformation.” “We all come from the same mother,” the Dalai Lama said. “That creates the basis for compassion.”

Earlier in the day the exiled head of state and spiritual leader of the Tibetan people said a prayer after placing a white scarf over the wreath at the Lorraine Motel. The wreath is where Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was killed by an assassin’s bullet on April 4, 1968. The Rev. Samuel ‘Billy’ Kyles described to his Holiness the moment Dr. King was shot. Kyles was just a few feet from Dr. King on that night. The Rev. Dr. Benjamin Hooks, a noted civil rights leader, also bows his head during a moment of silence. His Holiness and Dr. King are both recipients of the Nobel Peace Prize. The Dalai Lama said his visit to the National Civil Rights Museum and Lorraine Motel was sad, but gives a conviction to fight for human rights. He also spoke on the importance of inner beauty and religious harmony.

He went on to say Gandhi and King may not be living, but their spirit will continue for many years like Buddha, Jesus Christ and Muhammad. His Holiness also added that totalitarian regimes are outdated and the free world has the moral obligation to remind them they are not practical. He said freedom of information was essential and told of an example where Tibetans did not even know of the Cultural Revolution taking place inside their own country.  To assist in the exchange of information the Dalai Lama said the media need to help in spreading the truth to the people. “The media people should have long nose like elephant nose,” said His Holiness. “You should be very honest, objective, unbiased, truthful. Investigate what is going on. Good, bad, everything. Then inform people.”

He said one human right was to know the truth; and that censorship and distorted information were outdated. At one point, he said he and former President George W. Bush were good friends, but he had some reservations about some of his policies.  He pointed out his main commitment consisted of two things, one being the promotion of human value and the other the harmony between religions. “Your individual future depends on the rest of the community,” said His Holiness.  He went on to say trust was the antidote for frustration and internal beauty was more important than external beauty. “Internal beauty really brings inner peace and good health,” said His Holiness. He closed by saying King’s inner strength came from his faith. He may have had a different philosophy than Mother Teresa or Gandhi, but it didn’t matter because it brought inner strength. “It is not only just some people’s social responsibility, but six billion people’s responsibility,” said His Holiness. “Big, happier, human society and more religious harmony.”

His Holiness’ message is always one of compassion, harmony, warm-heartedness, inner peace and civil rights. During the awards ceremony, which took place in the Peabody Hotel ballroom, he said women are by nature more compassionate because of their biology and ability to nurture and birth children. He therefore called on all women to lead and create a more compassionate world, citing the good works of nurses and mothers. Interestingly enough, there are feminist groups who would claim this kind of biological stance has led to discrimination against women in the workplace.

I don’t necessarily feel any more enlightened than I did yesterday, but this sure was a once in a lifetime experience!

Two years later, my high school boyfriend proposed to me and we were looking for a place to get married.  My boss, Jill, offered for us to get married at her house in Germantown and we thought that would be a great idea.  We had a beautiful outdoor wedding on a scorching hot day in July.  Over the years, I’ve learned a tremendous amount at JDR.  For several years, I did the Receptionist/Secretary thing and was very happy doing it.  Then, one of our Recruiters moved out of town, so they asked me if I would like to try my hand at it.  I recruited for a couple of years, but finally figured out that it wasn’t for me since I prefer tasks that are completed and checked off on a daily basis.  At that point, I started working in the accounting area and found that I really enjoyed it.  Jill is very good at utilizing our best qualities, which makes for a great work place.  In 2008, my husband and I celebrated our 15^th anniversary at Jill’s house in Pickwick.  We are hoping to celebrate 25 years together at her home in London (she’s working on that one).  So, almost 18 years later, I still enjoy working for JDR and look forward to many more.

During my time at the bank, I did have the opportunity to recruit students graduating from my alma mater, Mississippi State University…it was refreshing and fun compared to my “regular job.”  I started keeping an eye out for anything that might be interesting in the newspaper and I happened to see a blind box ad for an Accounting Recruiter and thought I’d reply to it.  As it turns out, Jill Herrin called me at the office to chat.  By the end of the 10-minute conversation, she was pretty sure that I was her new Accounting Recruiter and I was wondering what in the world I had just said!  Jill has such a knack for putting you at ease.  When we met in person with her business partner, Danny McKinney, it was pretty clear that we all hit it off beautifully and my question was answered…she’s from London!  British and Southern accents combined can be interesting!

Almost 20 years later, here I am!  I tried my hand at recruiting, but ended up slipping back into a financial role after about three years.  As it turns out, Jill is more gifted with people and I’m more gifted with numbers.  Only, this time, the regular accounting is only a part of what I do.  I also handle Payroll, Benefits, Legal, Budgeting, Accounts Receivable, Accounts Payable, Human Resources, and anything else that comes up from a financial aspect.  In fact, I even placed someone with one of our clients just a couple of months ago.  I suppose I’ll always be a bit of a recruiter at heart.

From an early age, Ian developed an interest in film production.  So, like any supportive parent would do, Jill bought him some video equipment to fuel his desire.  Over the past few years, Ian has won numerous film contests, both independently and within his school, Houston High School.  He has also acted as a substitute teacher for his school’s film program.  This fall, he will join the ranks of George Lucas, Ron Howard and many other famous Directors by attending the University of Southern California School of Cinematic Arts, where he will graduate with a Bachelors of Arts with a Major in Cinematic Arts Critical Studies.  Each year, only about 75 students worldwide are accepted into this program.  The top-17 grossing films of all time have had an SCA graduate in a key creative position and the recently rebuilt campus includes George Lucas and Steven Spielberg buildings.  Congratulations to Ian for such an amazing accomplishment!

So, we hear and give tips all the time about what you should or shouldn’t do in an interview.  Check out this skit, written and directed by Ian Herrin, which illustrates what you most certainly SHOULD NOT do in an interview!  LOL