So what exactly is trust?  Let’s start by thinking of 3 people whom you would trust with your life.  In other words identify some person or entity (think organization, agency, company) that you would trust to make life-altering or even life-ending decisions for you.  Have you thought of three?

My bet, based on having asked this question before, is that most of you have chosen a spouse, child, parent, sibling or other close relatives and possibly a spiritual advisor (minister, rabbi, imam etc.)   Very rarely has anyone selected their boss, a co-worker, subordinate or anyone from their workplace.  Why is that?  Do we not trust the people with and for whom we work?

Let’s ask the corollary question.  Think of three entities (people, organizations, agencies) you do not trust.  Got your three?   Again, based on having asked this question, I find people usually cite government entities (the IRS being a frequent answer), politicians, used car salesmen, sales people of all sorts and a sprinkling of people with whom or for whom they have worked.  At some point they have come to the conclusion that they cannot expect information from these people or entities to be the truth or the promises they make to be kept.

Does there seem to be a pattern here?  People want to work for someone they trust.  And yet there is not a great deal of trust in the workplace.  But to be a good leader you must have trust.  You must somehow gain credibility with your followers.  Having position and power over people is not enough.  Coercion is not a good leadership technique.  And certainly “above and beyond” efforts have to be given, not demanded or forced from a subordinate or team member.

So we are back at “how do I gain trust with someone?”   You gain trust not through speeches or written reports, not through being brilliant in meetings or presentations.  You gain trust through your behavior and the consistency of your actions.  You have to do what you say you will do, every time.  You have to tell the truth, even if it’s not what people want to hear.  You have to explain your goals, why you set your goals and how you plan to reach them.  You have to share a vision of what does not yet exist and how you plan to get there and ask, sincerely, that people trust you and come with you to the destination.  And all of this takes time.  But the good news is that you take trustworthiness with you.  When you start a new job or move to a new department, your reputation comes with you.  All that you have said and done before either reinforces that you are “trust worthy” or tells people that you say one thing and do another.

So what is your reputation? Are you trust-worthy?  If not, it may take you a very long time to correct a history of not doing what you say you will.   But now is always an excellent time to start.

And most IT people will say, “So?  What we are supposed to do is technical stuff, relationships shouldn’t matter.”

Maybe relationships shouldn’t matter, but they do.  Unfortunately, I have seen superb technical organizations which are perceived by their internal customers as incompetent.  They are doing all of the right “technical stuff” — they have 99.99% system availability, clean databases, virus-free LANs, capable help-desks and a responsive network — but they are still perceived as incompetent because they have failed to build and maintain good relationships.

Some IT execs have also noticed this and as a result there is a great deal of IT executive coaching focused on improving relationship skills.  Many executive search consultants and their clients have also started evaluating an IT exec’s “soft skills” and fit with the corporate culture during the selection process.

But having a relationship-savvy exec heading IT is not enough to change the perception of IT as an un-caring bunch of propeller-heads.  To change the entire IT organization requires three things:

1. One person in the organization accountable for IT’s relationships, both internal and external, reporting directly to the CIO
2. Measurement and reward focused on relationship building and maintenance
3. Training, coaching and mentoring focused on building “soft skills” across the entire IT organization so that every IT person is doing “relationship management” as part of his/her job

Being an IT leader has become more complex.  Not only do you need to know technology and stay on top of trends and advances, you also need to know the industry your IT organization is part of and how you can best align IT with  business needs.  Now some consultant is telling you that you also need to have relationship building and management skills.  And not only do you need to have these skills, but everyone in your organization needs them and you need a direct report to manage all of your organization’s relationships.

It would be human nature to shrug this off.  It is just too much to cope with and you need to stay focused on technology and business.  But the truth is if you want to take your organization to that next level of achievement, if you want them to be viewed as intelligent, capable, business-savvy and focused on customer-service, then relationships have to matter. You and your entire organization have to build and maintain good relationships with your counterparts in the business and contacts at the vendors.  All great IT organizations have figured this out.  It is what distinguishes them from the merely good IT organizations.

Yes, I understand, relationships shouldn’t matter, but they do.

So what happens to the flurry of attention bestowed upon a candidate after the deal is made?  At this point, it is important to remember that the recruiting and relationship building cannot stop here.  While you have spent a great deal of time getting your new employee on board, there is so much more the new hire needs to know.  It is important to support your new employee while he/she becomes a productive member of your staff.  It is not enough to simply get your candidate in the door.  The steps taken in the beginning to help a new employee learn the culture and procedures within the organization will help build a relationship and strengthen the candidate experience, which usually results in increased loyalty.

Next time you hire, develop a plan for getting your new employee acclimated to their environment.  You might consider greeting them yourself on their first few mornings, assigning them a coworker to show them the ropes or organizing a short office meeting for everyone to meet and greet their new associate.  Whatever tactics you choose, you need to make the new employee feel warm and fuzzy and at home within the company.  The return on investment for a few extra moments of your time will been seen in reduced turnover and a higher percentage of engaged, productive employees.

However, to really get the most out of your career and enrich your life, you must build sustainable relationships with your co-workers, bosses and customers, no matter what your chosen field is.  If you truly care about your products/services, and are passionate about your responsibilities, then you will carry them out with a great attitude – every day!  People who treat each new day as a blessing and privilege are fulfilled even during the most menial parts of the job and daily grind.  Get in early, dress your best, and accomplish more than expected out of you; this way you will go home pleasantly fatigued and not worn out and cranky!

Attitude is contagious; everyone loves being around people who think, work hard and are great inspirers and accomplishers.  We inevitably learn from others and those that wake up each day with a mission of being excellent are a joy to watch.  If you are not one of those people, then you are probably in the wrong job!

Do’s and Don’ts to finding a technical job:

Don’t spend time on job sites; it will only lead to frustration.  Today it’s highly unlikely that an employer will hire someone they don’t already know, or someone that is not represented by a reputable recruiting firm with existing relationships and success within their organization.

Don’t send your resume out blindly; it’s easy to spam employers with your resume, but it won’t yield you a job.

Do spend as much time as possible with people one-on-one. Attend technical and career meetings, meet colleagues for lunch, and talk to contacts on the phone. Finding a job is all about relationships and good representation.

Do experiment with new technologies and learn different skills.  You can download developer kits and start experimenting.  The layoff period may not be long enough for you to completely master a new skill, but you should be able to show that you have been enhancing your knowledge.

Do contact search firms that represent companies whose clients use your technology skills and who can offer an environment that will enable you to be represented by them when their clients have openings.

Do look for consulting or contract projects.  It is advisable to stay employed so that you are marketable when companies are ready to hire again. People that have consistent projects and position without gaps will be in a much better position to reap the benefits of an economic turnaround.

Do volunteer your services. Donate your time for tasks that will also enable you to develop your skills and be beneficial to your community.

Don’t stress. Allow yourself time to relax and enjoy life; the work will come.  Pursuing things you love doing, with people you enjoy, will position you better to get a job; other people will notice your commitment, passion, skill, and personality and they’ll want to either hire you or help you get hired.